Curing retarded ejaculation with mind power!

Now you may think that’s a strange heading for a blog on retarded ejaculation, but it’s a serious suggestion – that is to say, that you could actually heal or cure retarded ejaculation by using the power of your mind.

Conventionally of course therapy involves lots of discussion of issues, delving down into the emotional baggage of the past, to uncover the psychodynamic issues which lie at the root of issues like premature ejaculation.

(By the way, I ought to add at this stage that although many people seem to think premature ejaculation is caused by physical issues, there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever to suggest that is true. In fact, the idea that premature ejaculation is caused by an oversensitive penis has been disproved many times – by vibrator tests on the penis, and if there are any effects are due to oversensitivity, it’s an oversensitivity of the nervous system….  this may be something related to the “highly sensitive person syndrome” which can read about here.)

So if you accept that premature ejaculation is in fact a psychological issue then it’s quite obvious that a psychological cure can be the way to deal with it. As I already mentioned, classically this would involve psychotherapy, although it has to be said that many men are reluctant to engage in the process of psychotherapy because of the expense and the embarrassment may ensue from revealing personal and details that love life.

Something that many of my clients have found effective for dealing with ejacualtion problems is hypnosis, and you can find many effective and powerful self hypnosis treatments on the Internet, available for download as MP3 recordings which you can put onto an iPlayer or MP3 player and use at your convenience.

In general treatments like this will require you to play recording at least once or possibly twice a day for a period of several weeks before you can see an improvement.

However the comparative cheapness, and high level of effectiveness of these programs do render them highly desirable for many men who want to improve their sexual performance.

Whether or not these programs get to the root of the psychodynamic issues which can lie behind premature ejaculation is an open question – it’s much more likely that they overlay a new “program” in the subconscious over the old fear or anger based behavior.

This is the essence of techniques used by personal development therapists at seminars – in a state of energy, a new behaviour pattern can be laid down over the old one, supplanting it and taking its place, and bringing about changes in behaviour.

There are other ways of “altering” a psychological “program” laid down in the subconscious, including the use of the alpha state of deep relaxation (which basically amounts to much the same thing as self hypnosis). Indeed, this is classically the state of mind in which you should listen to a self hypnosis tape.

It appears that the self hypnosis process can be just as effective in eliminating old patterns of behaviour as any treatment undertaken in a state of high energy in the kind of seminars that I referred to above.

Now, having said all that, the question is – how are you going to go about selecting a self hypnosis tape? Well, first of all you need one that helps you to visualize, particularly if you’re not practised in the art of visualization. Although people tend to think that visualization is a difficult skill, it certainly isn’t – it just requires practice. Read this text on manifestation to see how easy it can be.

Even so, I loose track of the number of people that I’ve met over the years who make a bold statement like “I can’t visualize.” The truth is that they haven’t practised, or they don’t feel the motivation to do so, or they don’t have the techniques at their disposal. So a self hypnosis recording which can encourage visualization is a great start, and so is one that can actually take you through a guided meditation.

In other words, you actually want to find one recorded specifically for the sake of premature or retarded ejaculation, and as you  you use it, engage with a state of relaxation in which your brain can be “reprogrammed”, subtly and slowly, but effectively nonetheless.

Now some of you will know that this is very similar to the techniques used in manifestation and visualization, I do want to say a few words about that in this post.

Visualization and manifestation techniques rely on psychological imagery to reprogram the brain to “expect” a different outcome in a given situation.

Video – reprogramming the brain

Whether or not there’s any mystical aspect to this process is another issue – you don’t have to assume that there is to accept the idea that when the subconscious mind believes something to be true in the world it goes about creating that in physical reality!

The reason for this is that the brain can’t tolerate cognitive dissonance – that is to say, it can’t tolerate difference between the reality as perceived by the senses and the reality as recorded in the brain. When there is a difference it seeks to change the external world – which in this case is basically your sexual performance – to a different reality so that the two are in line. That’s the essence of manifestation and visualization, so there’s no mystery about the process.

All in all therefore, as you can see, I am a fan of mental techniques which can be used to program the subconscious mind to expect a different outcome, whether that’s in terms of prosperity, relationships, sexual performance, or indeed anything else.

Whether or not this works for you is actually going to be entirely up to the dedication with which you approach the technique, because at the end of the day, nobody can make any changes to your sexual performance except yourself.

You do have to do commit to a certain amount of time to use these techniques – whether using self hypnosis or visualization, you’re going to need to meditate for about 10 or 15 minutes twice a day.

This hardly seems like a huge investment of time, but whether or not you’re willing to make it is entirely indicative of the seriousness with which you are approaching your delayed ejaculation or other sexual dysfunction.

If you’re highly motivated to cure the problem, this investment of time will seem very insignificant, and it’s certainly true that the rewards in terms of an improved sexual life can outweigh the cost and investment of time you need to make.

Advice About Delayed Ejaculation

The key distinction which appears to confuse a lot of men and their sexual partners when it comes to delayed ejaculation is that even though orgasm and ejaculation are generally thought to be one and the same thing, these are, in fact, two different events. The explosive sensation of orgasm is a cerebral event, which is experienced in the brain, or the mind if you prefer, although it is also accompanied by pleasurable sensations throughout the body.

In direct contrast, ejaculation is a reflex reaction that is induced by repetitive stimulation to the penis and sexually sensitive nerve endings elsewhere in the body. At this point, we are still clueless as to the exact location orgasmic pleasure occurs within the brain, but there have been breakthroughs about the synaptic connections through which the physical reaction of ejaculation is triggered.

For anyone interested, one suggestion is that when sexual arousal reaches a near-climactic threshold, the emission of semen close to the farthest point of the your urethra builds up the pressure at the root of the penis, and this unleashes a a whole set of physical responses including contraction of the pubococcygeal muscle.

The involuntary nervous system is at full play as far as ejaculation is concerned, while sexual arousal is confined to the voluntary nervous mechanism.

As it is, medical professional have long been acquainted with delayed ejaculation and the names commonly used to describe this bodily phenomenon most likely mirrors in some part, the research establishment’s developing understanding of the condition: ejaculatory incompetence, ejaculatory over-control, retarded ejaculation, and finally delayed ejaculation.

Personally, I’m inclined to believe that these changing names illustrate a new and increasingly sympathetic attitude for the men who are having sexual problems with their partners because of their unique ejaculation patterns during sexual intercourse.

The thing that’s particularly perturbing to medical professionals is that many of delayed ejaculation sufferers are able to ejaculate without any apparent difficulty when they are masturbating. This unusual reaction has led many scientists to speculate that there might be a correlation between a couple’s relationship status with failure to reach orgasm and ejaculate in the course of engaging in sexual intercourse. Naturally, one must be a little bit cautious about seeking an explanation in the relationship between a man and his partner.

It’s highly likely that a man’s apparent inability to ejaculate during oral sex with a partner, intercourse with a partner, or even masturbation by a partner, could only mean that there’s nothing in these activities that can compare to the higher degree of pleasure that an individual may be accustomed to perform on his own penis whilst pleasuring himself.

It’s obvious that the body can be trained to get used to these high levels of stimulation, so it’s always wise to initially find out whether or not the difficulty in ejaculating is simply because of the fact that the man by himself, can perform harsh, firm, or high-frequency stroking during self pleasuring, in a manner that is not simulated in the course of actual sex with a partner.

There’s reason to believe that if such is the cause of the aberration, the remedy will be in the form of retraining the body, the penis and the mind, to acquiesce to much more gentle stimulation of the kind that can result to a climax during sexual congress.

As is often the case, therapists and counsellors more often than not, adopt the position that the relationship is often the cause of delayed ejaculation.

And it might as well be. I have been acquainted with many couples where a slowly festering sense of alienation has reduced intimacy to the point where a male no longer enjoys intercourse, and sees it as a burden, whilst simultaneously finding himself powerless to convey to his spouse or partner in a manner that might open a way to a mutually agreeable solution to these difficulties.

And even if there isn’t hostility, anger, or any other negative feelings on the part of the male towards his partner, there is, as some studies show, a specific type of personality who is predisposed to delayed ejaculation.

Based on the latest scientific publications, this individual type is most certainly a person who is in some way strangely unaware of his personal process of sexual pleasure, who is often unaware of how aroused he is during sexual activity, who often considers sex with his partner as some obligation for which he is responsible, who regards himself as responsible for his female partner’s pleasure, and who believes that the woman’s pleasure must be considered first and is the the most important part of sex. These men generally, whether consciously or not, perceive themselves as the “mighty purveyor of sex”, grinding on (pointlessly at times) to steer the sexual intercourse to a satisfying conclusion.

It is also observable that many of the partners of males with this condition tend to be unmotivated in the matter of sex, and have a tacit understanding that the man is implicitly obligated to bring them sexual gratification. In fact, they are of course responsible for their own orgasm. In such cases, it’s clearly essential to be able to re-educate a couple and give them some actionable sexual information. Approached in this manner, the couple’s expectations and attitudes about sex and erotic gratification can be brought closer to reality.

Finally, it is noticeable that men who fall into this individual profile generally lack solid grasp of their own level of pleasure. In a very real sense, there appears to be some kind of disconnect, or a blank space, in their sexual maturity, so that they have come to associate their internal mechanism of sexual pleasure with the outside dynamics of having sexual intercourse with a partner.

What can be deduced from all these is that their own erotic world normally doesn’t function as a source of sexual stimulus and gratification: they are left in a debilitating state of sexual confusion in which they propose to engage in sexual intercourse without all the emotional and physical tools that are important for it to be an enjoyable and mutually satisfying activity.